Stawberries And Cigarettes
by TangerineDaydreams5
Summary: Brown eyes, black jeans Lighters and candy, I've been a fool / Sunshine Curtis is just a few weeks from her seventeenth. 1966 has been a rough year so far but it seems to only get more confusing and hard. But she's happy-go-lucky Sunshine, how could she have problems?
1. Sunshine Isn't a name

_Hello everyone, this is the first story I've written in a long time and one of the only one I have faith in so here ya go. I hope you enjoy my re-telling of The Outsiders from the gender bent Sodapop, ie: Sunshine Curtis. I also have the first five chapters already completed so expect sosme-what consistent updates._

 _I do not own The Outsiders nor any of the characters mentioned aside from Sunshine. Thank you!_

I used to hate the name Sunshine. Sunshine wasn't a first name, it was the thing that came down and gave you freckles in the summer. Well I'm lying. When I was just a little girl I loved it dearly, but then as I grew up I hated it more and more. Boys made fun at me at school. I tried to tell them how original my dad was and that he was the coolest man ever but they wouldn't listen. It was easier for them to laugh and that made me angry.

But after my folks died and it was just me and my two brothers I learned to love it again, not because I liked having an odd name or boys stopped teasing me, but because my dad had given it to me. I missed when my parents would sing to me "you are my sunshine." And sometimes when I closed my eyes real tight at night I could hear them singing it to me, but that was only sometimes. I kept that inside though, it was my little secret. I needed to be strong for Ponyboy and Darry. Ponyboy needed someone he could look up to even if I was a bit of a screw up and Darry needed someone he could depend on all the time.

I was always known as the happiest of kids, all smiles. Even though we didn't have much money I always had family that filled my life with everything it needed. My life was happy until that tragedy, it tore so much of my heart away from me. Even after that though I had happy times, my brothers and I grew such a strong bond and respect for each other, they were all that I had. I loved everyone I was surrounded with.

My mama always wanted a girl since she was a little girl and had her baby dolls. Darry came and she was sure I was gonna be a boy too but when I came out she was overjoyed. I looked like her too, the same eyes and golden hair. My dad would never admit it but he wanted a girl more than anything too.

I would cry every time my mom stuck me in a dress and tied my hair in bows, I was a crybaby from a very young age. So she started letting me wear Darry's old pants instead and even started to hem the ends because Darry was much bigger than I was. She sighed when I'd rather go outside and work on the car with Dad instead of be in the kitchen with her but she did teach me how to bake a chocolate cake. And I loved my mom dearly but me and my dad... we were closer than anything.

He never judged me like everyone else in my life, that I wasn't a "proper girl". And when I started getting in fights at school and or on the street and coming home with bruises my mom would get fiery mad at me. But my dad would tell her he was taking me on a drive to talk about it but instead he would bring me to Dairy Queen and buy me an ice cream and ask me if I beat the guy I got in a fight with which I always did. My mom didn't even like Steve, my best buddy, when I first brought him home because he was a boy. But she even grew to love him and treat him like another son of hers.

My heart ached thinking about them.

"Hey Sunny!" Speaking of, Steve waved his hand in front of my face. "You still here?"

"Oh- oh yeah just thinkin." I replied kicking my sneaker into the dust. I had accompanied him outside for a smoke, we had work in an hour and we always left together. I never smoked unless I was anxious or wanted to act tough, which I didn't have to do around him. We were always together to be honest, it made my boyfriend Sander pretty jealous but Steve was my best friend and Sander meant everything to me. I found a way to balance it. My ears perked up with the sound of yelling. "Hey is that Ponyboy?"

"You're just hearin' things." Steve replied taking another drag.

"Darry! Sunny!" With Ponyboy's yelling I knew something was wrong. I darted away from the house with Steve right behind me and I could hear the front door of our house slam andDarry leaving as well. I was mighty protective of Pony, and even if he got embarrassed sometimes he idolized me anyways.

He came into view a few blocks down, Soc's were surrounding him. I could feel anger rising from my stomach and into my throat. By this time Johnny, Dally and Two-Bit had joined us too, I didn't even know where they showed up from, but when one of the gang was in trouble the whole gang was there to defend them. The wimps that jumped my brother ran back to their mustang as soon as they saw us coming, we didn't even have a chance to punch one, which I was hoping to get the adrenaline building in my system out. I of course ran to my brother. Darry had already hauled him to his feet, but he swayed slightly and I went back to his side as he took a seat once more.

He was shaking something fierce but I gave him a soft smile, pushing his hair from his face and rubbing circles into his back. "You got cut up a bit didn't you?"

"I did?" He asked curiously seemingly dazed. I nodded pulling my handkerchief from my jacket pocket

"Stick out your tongue."

He did as told and I wet the handkerchief on his tongue not wanting to spread around my germs and wiped at the blood on his forehead. It wasn't much thankfully, but Ponyboy had never really been jumped before.

"They took out knife on you didn't they?" He zoned a bit, his lightly tanned skin becoming whiter by the second, I moved to put an arm around his back. Pony was heavier than me already but I figured if he passed out I could do something to try and cushion his fall.

He didn't have to answer because I already knew it, but he mustered up a small "Yeah."

He started crying in the next moment and I couldn't feel worse, I could feel my fist clenching up wanting nothing more than to go after those guys that scared my brother. Ponyboy had this thing about looking "tuff" I think it's a bunch of baloney but he always tells me I'm real tuff for a girl anyways so I wouldn't know. "Hey, you're okay. No ones gonna hurt you no more."

"I know." He said between the tears cascading down his cheeks. He wiped away at them angrily with the back of his sleeve. "I'm just a little spooked is all." And with that he stopped crying. And I knew it was because Darry was standing behind us awkwardly trying to make sense of the situation. He was very protective of the both of us.

"You're an alright kid Pony." I said ruffling his hair with a smile. He smiled back at me.

"You're crazy Sunny."

"Your both nuts." Darry stepped in. I raised an eyebrow like Two-bit showed me which got Pony to laugh.

"It seems to run in the family." I retorted eyeing my older brother wearily. Ponyboy would never even imagine talking to Darry like that. But me? I never had a problem. Yeah Darry stood a head over all of us and had muscles like a statue, but in the end he was my big brother who used to braid my hair for me when I was little when mom was out of town and used to hit boys that were mean to me. Anyways, he liked when I teased him, I think it lightened him up.

My attention was back to the other boys who came running back to us. We didn't have any other girls in our gang, I saw Steve's girl Evie sometimes and Dally's girl Sylvia but aside from that I was alone in it. I didn't mind much though. I got along with everyone just fine. I didn't like other 'greaser' girls that much anyways.

Steve was my best friend. He was around six inches taller than me now even though I used to be the taller one in grade school but he was still lanky as ever. He could drive and fix any car out there and I always told him that's what brought so many customers to the DX. But he always told me it was me, that I could attract flies to honey. I didn't see it though. I was just nice to everyone. He didn't like it much when I brought Pony somewhere but then again he didn't like Sander much either. I always found a way to make both parties happy though.

Two-Bit was a good buddy of mine, he had been since I met him. No one made me laugh like Two-bit did. He taught me some cool tricks and jokes and shoplifted me a necklace once that Darry made him take back. He always had a bit of thing for me though because I was blonde and two-bits favorite were blondes. Though Darry and Steve kept him in line.

Dally always made me weary, we never talked much and neither one of my brothers or Steve ever wanted me to be around him without them. I didn't blame them Dally had been convicted of almost everything under the sun except for murder. He was angry and mean and bitter, but he was smart. He knew his way around a situation even when it seemed like he didn't, Dallas always had the last laugh.

And lastly of course was little Johnny Cade. Even though he was my age he stood about the same height and he had these big nervous black eyes and black hair that hung in his boyish face. He was sweet as syrup but his daddy beat him and his momma always yelled and got drunk. So we had to love Johnny a little extra because no one loved him at home. He got jumped around four months ago and I had never seen anyone in as bad shape as Johnny was afterwards, I nearly got sick when I saw him. He had a big scar on the side of his face now, it definitely gave his boyish appearance and air of toughness.

I dusted myself off and stood up offering Pony a hand to pull him up. Even though he was my younger brother he sprouted up in the last year and now stood two inches taller.

"Did ya catch them?" Pony asked with some sprinkling of hope in his eyes but they all shook their heads. Two-Bit went off in some rant calling them a bunch of names like he usually did.I didn't expect them to catch up to a car however.

"The kids okay?" Dally asked. Ponyboy nodded and asked him about being out of jail. Somehow Dally got off on good behavior. He could be a good guy when he wanted to be but any other time he wasn't really unbearable to be around but he wasn't exactly the one you'd like to hang out with either, you dig?

He lit a cigarette and gave it to Johnny since Johnny didn't have any money for smokes. We all smoked. I don't think we cared much about our lungs. I shared one with Steve, I gave Pony his own and Two and Darry had their own. I could visibly see the shakiness in Ponyboy disappear and when I thought everything was nice and calm again my idiot of a best friend had to go and speak up.

"What are you doing walking by yourself?" Steve questioned him. I loved Steve, but sometimes he was so stupid. I told him all the time about how Darry and Pony didn't get along much anymore and he was just picking a fight between the two.

"I was just coming back from the movies I wasn't thinking-"

"You never think." Darry scolded him, "You never use that head of yours for common sense. Carry a blade next time you go out by yourself."

Ponyboy suddenly became very interested in his shoes. I knew when Darry spoke down to him like that it made him self conscious. Darry was too hard on him and Ponyboy didn't try hard enough where it counted the most.

"Hey you leave him alone!" I yelled at Darry place a hand on Pony's back. "He likes the movies so what? Ain't his fault Soc's like to jump people like us. They would've really cut him up if he had a blade and you know it." I could feel Pony relax under my touch.

"When I want my kid sister to tell me what to do with my kid brother I'll ask." Darry said but he laid off Pony which was good. I hated to be in the middle but I figured if I can dissolve the fights maybe one day they'd just quit it. It was probably too much of a hope but I still did.

"Speaking of movies I'm seeing the Daily double tomorrow night whose coming?" Dally asked.

Steve cut in for me; "Me and Sunny are going to the game tomorrow night with Sander and Evie." I nodded in agreement.

"Hey we should get goin' we got work soon." I interrupted, "Stay outta trouble all y'all." I laughed as Steve and I walked away. I was a little miffed with him to be honest pulling that back there. I wasn't gonna show it in front of the gang because they hated to get in between Steve and I's fights. Everyone would complain about how we should just make up as soon as we started yelling. I mean we did anyways but sometimes I wished they'd just butt out, sometimes I wanted to be mad at him for acting stupid and since I wasn't big enough anymore to wrestle all I had was my ignoring skills.

"Why are you walking so fast you know I got a truck right?" Steve questioned me jogging to keep up.

I crossed my arms over my chest; "Why do you gotta always interrogate Ponyboy like that? He don't do anything to you but be my kid brother.'

"Like what?"

"You know get Darry all mad at him like that." I accused continuing to walk once more. "You know I told you not to do that."

"He'll get over it." Steve shrugged lighting up another cigarette.

"That's not the point Steve. He shouldn't have to and especially when I get stuck in the middle of it. It's not fair to me." I told him, I could always make him feel bad if I involved myself in the situation. "He's my kid brother."

"I'm sorry Sunny gosh!" He yelled at me as we got to his truck. I raised an eyebrow. "Seriously sun, I'm sorry. I forget sometimes."

"It's okay." I sighed looking out the window as he started the truck. Sometimes I feel like I just had to forgive the gang so I didn't cause more problems, even if their apology didn't seem sincere. "Try a little harder next time?"


	2. Games Played and Hurt Hearts

_Coming at you with chapter 2! I already plan a sequel to this story that I am happy to start writing soon when this is over. I would also like to disclose that even though this does follow the book, I did change some tiny aspects around! As said before I only own Sunshine Curtis, The Outsiders and every other character involved is not mine._

After Steve dropped me off at my house I went inside to find Darry hunched over in his bedroom, trying desperately to rub his own sore shoulders. I knew he was overworked and so did Ponyboy and I dropped outta school to help him and he still overworked himself. Nothing I could do though, he didn't listen to me when it came to money. He was too afraid of me being sent off to a girls home and Ponyboy to a boy's home and none of us ever seeing each other anymore. I tried to remind him that me and Pony weren't looking for trouble but he never listened. He just always figured trouble would come find us.

"I can help." I offered as I walked into his room, dropping my things by the door. We all had our own rooms, mine just being hardly bigger than a closet but I hadn't slept in it for months. When my parents first died Ponyboy got these vivid night terrors, so bad he'd wake up screaming. It scared the living day lights out of me and Darry when it first happened and after many sleepless nights I eventually just slept in Ponyboy's bed with him. They eventually simmered down and now I'm too afraid to even go back into my room.

I sat down behind Darry beginning to run the knots from his muscles. Everyone always told me my hands were magic because just with a back rub I could put almost anyone to sleep.

"Rub a little harder Sunny, I'm gonna fall asleep." Darry muttered hardly audibly. I dug my fingers into his back making sure all the soreness released and like he said he was asleep in minutes. He was nearly falling back on me and I had to move sideways awkwardly. I pulled his shoes and socks off and moved to pull his shirt over his head. He slept like a rock so even when I struggled to drag him back so he was actually on the bed he didn't even flinch.

I yawned walking my way down the hall, no one was asleep on the couch yet. Though we might get a straggler in the night. My mom always had a thing for taking care of people even if they weren't her family and I inherited that from her. I loved taking care of my brothers and our gang and anyone who walked in our door. Two-Bits mom always told us someone was going to rob us but Darry could throw a full grown man I was convinced. Besides typically the only person to ever show was Steve.

I walked into Ponyboy's and I's room, yawning all the way there. He was up at the desk studying or doing homework I wasn't quite sure. All I knew it was way too late to be doing anything.

I pulled off my clothes and pulled one of Darry's old t-shirts over my head crawling into our bed. "Ponyboy turn out that light and go to bed. I'm tired."

Within a few minutes he did, climbing in next to me I could feel him shiver slightly. I was already half asleep at this point.

"You cold?"

"A little." I turned and slung an arm across his body attempting to warm him.

"Hey Ponyboy don't worry about Darry. He's proud of you you're real smart. You're just the baby." I tried to tell him remembering the events of earlier, I knew Pony was one to think at night. Sometimes he got real quiet and just stared out into the darkness, contemplating things, and when he was like that I just couldn't reach him. I wanted Pony to understand Darry was worried about him more than anything, he just had a funny way of showing it. He didn't know how to be a dad quite yet and now he had to be mom and dad for the both of us.

"Sure." It was silent for a moment and I began to drift off before Ponyboy spoke again. "Sunny?"

"Yeah?" I asked drowsily.

"Why did you drop out?"

I swallowed opening my eyes to look at him. I didn't want to tell him we needed the money so I smiled slightly, "Because all the brains went to you. The only classes I was passing were gym and auto. School ain't my thing Pony I'm dumb."

"You're not dumb."

"Shut up." I told him softly with a giggle. My heart fluttered in my chest, "Hey Ponyboy wanna know something? You can't tell Darry though or Steve or Two-Bit. Nobody."

"Okay."

"I think Sander is gonna ask me to marry him." I gushed. I didn't really have any female friends the only girl I usually talked to was Evie. Ponyboy was truly my closest friend aside from Steve, I could tell him anything. "You know when he graduates and gets a good job and maybe I get a better job. We might wait till you're outta school though so I can keep helping Darry with the bills."

"Yeah wait until I'm out so he can leave me alone."

"Ponyboy you know I told you-"

"Being in love with Sander how's that feel?" He changed the subject like he does, Ponyboy was my best buddy but he sure did like acting tough around me. The thought of Sander made me smile uncontrollably as I flipped over and snuggled into the covers.

"Real nice."

The next day Steve picked me and Sander up at my house. He had this thing where he didn't like Sander driving me home. I wasn't to sure as to why but I didn't want to fight so I let him just drive us all. Evie was in a tight dress and had Steve's jacket draped over her shoulders. I squeezed in next to her, I never wore dresses, wasn't my thing. However I did put on some eyeliner and lipstick not as much as most girls around here but enough for me. Sander had his arm around me the whole drive over.

"You're prettier every time I see you Sunny." Evie sighed.

"Oh stop it you're great looking." I smiled. Evie was pretty. But her dress were always short and she always had too much eye make up on and she smelt of smoke all the time so a lot of her pretty was covered up.I tried to see what Steve saw in her sometimes but I wasn't going to question it.

When we got there we avoided the Soc section and went straight to where all the greasers were sitting. It made me a little uncomfortable to be at the high school because I was afraid that someone would ask me why I didn't show up anymore. Sander had his arm locked now around my waist like I would disappear. I turned to him, "You wanna go get some sodas?"

"Sure thing babe." He smiled. His smile always dazzled me.

"We're gonna grab some drinks we'll be back." I told Steve and Evie.

"Grab me a coke." Steve said tossing me a nickel. I nodded and followed Sander hand in hand down to the concession stand. A lot of Soc boys would come to the DX and flirt with me so I never usually had a problem but Sander made me feel safe as ever when we were forced to mingle with them.

He kissed the top of my head and whispered, "You think tonight can be the night?"

My cheeks grew hot. We had been dating for nearly a year now and every week for the past three months he's been trying to make love to me. And I loved Sander a lot, I loved his blue eyes and gentle face and how he wasn't like a bunch of greasers. But I wasn't ready. I think most would think it's silly for holding onto my virginity for this long but it was mine. Steve made fun of me enough for it.

"Sander-" We were interrupted by our team scoring a touch down and the crowd going wild for them.

We got the cokes and headed back to the stands to find Steve and Evie and I prayed he wouldn't mention it again. The rest of the night was fun enough I guess. My mind was still thinking about Sander and what he wanted from me. I knew Steve and Evie had gone all the way both of them had told me. And I couldn't understand why I couldn't bring myself to be ready enough for Sander.

Steve dropped me and him back off at my house while him and Evie took off.I watched after them for a moment, wishing me and Sander were a little more carefree like them.

"Hey I want to show you something in my car." Sander said making his way towards the drivers side of his car. I curiously followed him into the passengers side, it was dark aside from the light shining from our front step. I wondered briefly if Pony was home yet, I kind of just wanted to go in. "Look in the glove box."

I raised an eyebrow opening the compartment. My eyes were immediately drawn to a purple box. "What's this?"

"Open it and find out." He told me with a smile. I smiled back lifting the top of the box to reveal a ring. A simple but beautiful silver band with stones encrusted in it, jewelry was never my thing but when it was a gift like this I couldn't help but love it. "Put it on."

"Sander, you shouldn't have." I breathed as I slipped it onto my finger watching it glimmer in the faint light. "How much did this cost?"

"Doesn't matter." Sander shook his head, "Anything for my girl." He leaned forward his lips connecting with mine. It was different this time though, this wasn't our normal kisses. This one was heavy and hungry.

He moved his hands from my face to my hips pulling me against him. He parted my lips, deepening the kiss. His hands moved to start lifting my shirt up.

"Sander," I breathed as he moved his lips to my neck. Goosebumps raised on my skin as his fingers grazed the flesh of my stomach. Skin that had rarely been touched by anyone but me.

"Shhh babe calm down."

"Sander!" I yelled pushing on his chest slightly. He moved backwards. "I'm not ready for this."

"Yeah well seems like you ain't never gonna be ready Sunshine." He said tiredly rubbing his eyes and gripping the steering wheel in his hand. People rarely ever used my full name. "I gotta go home."

"Oh okay. I'll see ya." I sighed getting out of the car, I knew he was mad with me but it was nothing new. Our relationship had been strained since he'd started being like this, I was shocked when we started seeing each other he wasn't just into sleeping with me like all the other guys. I longed for those days back. He backed it up before I could say anything else to him. My heart ached as I watched him drive down the block. I pulled my shirt into its normal position and fixed my hair because Darry would flip otherwise, he wasn't exactly born yesterday. I wasn't gonna cry through, I'm Sunshine Curtis, happy go lucky always smiling Sunny. Even if my heart was aching I'm smiling. I just wish I didn't have to keep up the persona of the name all the time.

I composed myself slightly as I went inside. I didn't really have a curfew anymore so I was confused when Darry was still up.

"I'm waiting for Ponyboy to get home." He answered before I could even ask. I should stay up too then so he isn't alone in waiting. I threw myself into our other arm chair, grabbing the blanket off the back and wrapping it around myself.

"Movies aren't over?" I asked with a yawn.

Darry looked down at his watch, "Probably in another half hour they started late tonight. He should be home in an hour."

"Ah well I stick around and wait too, I'd hate for yesterday to happen again." I curled up in the chair, crossing my hands on the arm and resting my head down in them.

"He's with Two-Bit and Dally he should get home fine." Darry answered but I was already dozing off. My head was already back on Sander and the look of disappointment on his face. Sometimes I wondered if I should just give in to what he wanted, for the sake of our relationship. Maybe I was just psyching myself out. I didn't have much more time to think about it before I officially fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of Darry yelling which wasn't the most pleasant thing to wake up to. I sat up in the chair stretching slightly before I opened my eyes. My little brother was home finally, and Darry was screaming at him. Go figure.

"Hey Ponyboy..." I said sleepily attempting to rub the drowsiness from my eyes. "Where ya been?"

"I didn't mean to." Ponyboy mumbled still looking at Darry, "We just fell asleep, me and Johnny."

"Did you ever think your siblings might be waiting up at home for you worried sick?" Darry screamed at him. I had slept through the whole time Ponyboy wasn't here, I glanced at the clock which read 2 am. Damn he was late and I could feel the fury radiating off of Darry.

"I told you I didn't mean to!" Ponyboy yelled back, tears starting to fall from his eyes. I stood up, I wanted to comfort him. Things happened and surely Ponyboy had a logical explanation for turning up so late.

"I didn't mean to! I forgot! I didn't think! Do you ever think?" Darry yelled.

"Darry-" I tried but he turned on me, towering over me. I didn't ever feel scared of Darry but in that moment I could feel a prickle of intimidation run up my spine.

"Shut it! You shouldn't be sticking up for him!"

"Hey don't yell at her!" Ponyboy screamed defending me which he didn't have to do. I didn't even know what happened next, it was like a movie played out before me. Darry slapped Pony so hard he hit the back of the door. The room was so silent I could hear myself breathing. No one ever hit Ponyboy. When we were kids Darry and I would rough house but we weren't allowed to with Pony because he was the baby.I couldn't help but bring my hand up to my mouth, unsure of what to say.

In the next second Pony scrambled out the door with a look of pure fear across his face and Darry ran to the porch watching him run down the block. "Pony I didn't mean to!"

I had to take a seat and breath for a second. Things had never gotten that heated, sure they bickered but I never expected Darry to lash out like that, especially when he was so much bigger than Pony. I liked fighting but not like this. Never like this. I raised my head as Darry walked back to his room slamming the door behind him and I was left by myself in the living room.

Wow this night that was already shit just turned into the biggest steaming pile of it.

I stood and walked to the phone, I knew it was late but I rang Steve's number anyways. His dad was likely getting drunk somewhere tonight and was gonna tell Steve to get out tomorrow anyways. I was likely only to wake Steve.

"Hello who the f-" Steve's half asleep voice came over the phone.

"Steve." I breathed not realizing how shaky my voice would come out.

"Sunny? You alright?" Steve asked, more awake. I realized now that Evie was probably over and I was being stupid and how late it was.

"Oh sorry Evie still with you ain't she?"

"What? No I dropped her off her mom wanted her home for 11." Steve said confusion in his voice, "Is this what you called about?"

"No." I breathed shaking my head even though he couldn't see it. "Ponyboy and Darry got in a fight and it was real bad, the worst I've ever seen."

"You want me to come over?"

"Yes."

"Alright I'll be over in ten."

I sat back down in the living room and like he said Steve was there ten minutes later walking through the door. My head was in my hands so I hardly noticed his presence, I was rubbing my now aching temples in circles.

"Sunny?" Steve asked taking a seat next to me, place and arm around my back. "Where are Darry and Ponyboy? What happened?"

"Darry is in his room and Ponyboy. I don't know where Ponyboy is." I sighed looking up with him and biting my lip. He was lucky I was too tired to cry or I'd be bawling like a baby. "Darry was just so mad, Ponyboy fell asleep in the lot with Johnny I guess and he got home late and Darry smacked him. Like _smacked_ him. I don't know what to do. I don't know where he is. I don't even know what to say to Darry."

"Why don't we go to bed." Steve said, I stared at him blankly. That suggestion didn't seem like it would solve a single one of my problems except maybe the raging headache coming on. "Ponyboy will probably be back in the morning. Can't talk to Darry right now, he's too heated."

"I guess so." I agreed standing up unsure of what else I could even do. He was probably right anyways, Ponyboy would come stumbling in tomorrow morning and all would be right again. I started to head towards Ponyboy's room but stopped as I realized he wasn't there and there was no reason for me to be sleeping in there tonight. I back tracked with Steve close behind to my own bedroom. I kept it neat and came in every so often to dust things off or grab my clothing. I sat on the edge of my bed taking off my shoes and socks, Steve following my actions. I changed into my pajamas not minding Steve in the room since we'd been best buddies for so long and he always turned around on cue anyways. I fell into my bed even though I wasn't tired anymore and decided it wasn't quite as comfortable as Pony's. Steve crawled up next to me having taken off his shirt. It was silent for a few minutes, "Steve you really think he's gonna be back in the morning?"

"Sunshine shut it i'm tryna sleep." Steve whined turning towards me with tired eyes. "I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow, just try to sleep. He's a smart kid."

"Okay." I sighed turning over. Steve slung his arm over me and pulled me closer. We used to take naps after school all the time so we got used to sleeping next to each other and cuddling in the night. It wasn't anything romantic it was just what we did.


	3. Wanted by the State of Oklahoma

_Please give me reviews I am thirsty for approval._

 _I do not own the outsiders and any characters involved aside from Sunshine._

I stayed up till the sun was starting to come up, the orange glow igniting everything in the room. I kept praying I would hear the door open but it never did. Maybe Pony was just at the lot still, he always like sunrises and sunsets, maybe he's watching it right now. I looked at Steve, his skn shimmering in the dawn light, he looked so peaceful. My eyelids started to get heavier and heavier as I watched the suns ascension and eventually without much thought I drifted off.

It seemed like just fifteen minutes later I was being awakened by Steve shaking me. My eyes stung with tiredness.

"What?" I moaned rubbing my eyes. Steve was propped up on one elbow, his face hovering over me slightly. I smiled up at him, "What time is it?"

"Time to get up." He said softly using his free hand to twirl around my hair.

"Can't we just stay here all day?" I asked him with a yawn, I was too warm and comfortable to move from my spot.

"I wish we could." He sighed, "You look like shit."

"Gee thanks a million." I sighed turning slightly so I was laying flat on my back besides him. I stretched my arms above my head before resting my hands on my stomach. "I didn't get much sleep last night is all. Saw the sunrise and everything."

"I told you Ponyboy would be back he's probably in his room or just passed out on the couch. " Steve said. He was more than likely right, I gave him a sleepy smile and pushed myself up. He moved to sit on the side of the bed, putting his discarded flannel back on. I walked out of the room checking Pony's room to no avail and looked down the hall to see a hand hanging over the couch like Steve said.

"Pony-" I said excitedly as I ran up only to be greeted by Two-Bits sleeping form. I hit him on the head with one of the couches pillows, "Dammit it's just Two-Bit."

"Wha- What did I do?" Two-Bit wiggled awake as I turned on the TV, standing at his side. My hand resting on my hip agitated. Perhaps Ponyboy got up at the lot and went to school to avoid any more trouble with Darry. That had to be it.

"Aw nothing Two I just thought you were Pony he ran off last night. Just been waiting up for him." I sighed as Steve came up beside me. "You were wrong. He's not here."

"Yeah sorry I can't predict the future." Steve shrugged, lighting a cigarette up. I shook my head looking to the TV as the news came on. I was the only one that was interested in watching the news ever, I liked to stay informed when something was going on. Also I just wanted to think about anything other than where my little brother was.

"A body found in a park of the west side of Tulsa. Identified as Bob Sheldon." The announcer said, my blood ran cold. Pony was out last night when that boy was killed, and it was just the park down the street. That could've been him, I gripped the arm of the couch nervously. "Here are pictures of the suspects."

My head swam as the pictures popped up. It was Johnny and Ponyboy, their young faces staring back at me through the screen. No, my brother couldn't have killed anyone, he'd never. Neither would Johnny, he wouldn't hurt a soul. Time seemed to slow down around me the more the thoughts swirled around my head, fogging my vision.

"Good god." I heard Steven breath but it sounded as if he was underwater, he then looked at me, "Holy Shit-"

His image seemed to melt before me and suddenly everything went blacker than the night.

"Sunshine..." I could hear faintly, something was lightly hitting my cheek. I attempted to bat whatever it was away from me, groaning slightly. "C'mon sunshine wake up."

My eyes fluttered open to see Steve and Two-Bit leaning over me, I have never felt groggier than I did in that moment. My head was resting in Steve's lap, he smiled down at me. "There she is."

"What?" I asked dazed, my head throbbed in the back. I reached up to rub at it, confused. Then I remembered Ponyboy's image on the screen of the TV. "Ponyboy-"

"Hey calm down." Two-Bit told me kneeling at Steve's side, concern in his gray eyes. He shook my shoulder slightly. "I ain't seen anyone turn as white as you did."

"Sorry." I mumbled attempting to sit up from my position, leaning against Steve for support. My head felt so heavy as I shook it. "It just couldn't have been Johnny or Pony. They aren't those kind of boys."

"They said they found a knife buried near the site with Johnny's hand prints. It ain't looking good." Steve told me even though it was gently it made my skin crawl. I covered my face with my hands unsure of what I should do. "Hey it's gonna be okay."

"Okay?" I quipped turning a little too quickly for my head. "You think Pony being a wanted fugitive is okay?" I saw Steve's face fall and I instantly regretted being mean to him, I moved my hand to grab his arm. "Sorry just stressing me out is all."

"Yeah it's no problem. Y'all wanna grab somethin' to eat I'm starvin'" Steve asked both of us changing the subject. My stomach couldn't be less ready for food, but I could see what he was trying to do. There was nothing at this point I could even do for Ponyboy and maybe getting out of my house would help keep my mind from it even though I doubted it.

Two-Bit shook his head standing up, "Nah I gotta watch my kid sister at home."

"Guess it's just me and you then." I told him sighing. I watched as Two-Bit walked out the door. Steve stood up, grabbing onto my shoulders as he did so, hauling me up with him. I stood for a second, blinking slightly as black dots appeared in my vision. As they dispersed I began to talk, "Lemme go get changed."

I walked down the hallway almost into Pony and I's shared room before diverting myself to my own bedroom. My heart ached in my chest, I wondered how scared he was at this very moment. I wondered if Darry heard the news yet at work. I wonder if he even felt bad. I shook my head, that was stupid obviously Darry felt bad. That was his baby brother, _our_ baby brother. Who we swore to protect and let nothing happen to. And now he was on the run somewhere.

I pulled my clothes off and pulled on a new shirt and pants. Brushing my blonde hair and putting on deodorant. I grabbed my jacket because the air was chilly this time of year and I wondered briefly if Pony was warm enough wherever he was. My heart kept growing heavier and heavier with each thought. I swung into the bathroom brushing my teeth quickly and splashing water into my face. I could hardly look at my reflection, there was too much of Ponyboy in my face.

"You okay?" Steve asked from the doorway probably coming to find me as I was taking too long.

I gave him a smile and nodded even though I really wasn't, "Yeah I'm okay." I tried to brush away the thought but it was eating at me. "Do you think Ponyboy is warm enough?"

"Yeah he's real smart Sunny." Steve nodded as he walked out with me following behind him, that's the first time I heard Steve pay Pony a compliment. We walked out to his truck and got in. He reached over and rubbed the back of my head which was tender under his touch, "I'm surprised you don't got a headache you hit your head pretty hard back there."

"Now that you mention it it does ache a bit." I laughed slightly, trying to force a little happiness out of my body. I think it came out a little forced sounding.

"Don't do that again you scared me half dead. Your eyes did that weird rolling back thing." He told me making a motion with his finger. I looked out the window, his hand going back to the back of my head rubbing it subconsciously.

"Sorry Steve I'll think of you next time I decide to faint."

"Thank you that's all I ask."

The rest of the ride was in a comfortable silence before pulling up to a diner we came to at least once a week. Usually after a night of going out I'd drag a hungover Steve here in the morning which he'd usually protest to until he was shoving pancakes down his throat. I never really drank and if I did I never got drunk, I didn't need to, I thought life was exciting enough without getting drunk. I had spent a few nights hauling Steve back to his house and into his own bed, or sat by while he threw up. We got out and walked inside, taking a booth.

"So you and sander have a good night last night?" He asked with a smirk, we didn't often get to this subject mostly because I didn't have much to say. I shrugged glancing down at my hand with the ring still on it spinning it on my finger, his eyes followed my gaze. "Did he propose!"

"What? No." I told him shaking my head and he seemed to visibly relax, even though I wasn't sure why. If Steve didn't like Sander he never really mentioned it. "Not that I would mind if he did."

"I don't think you should marry him anyhow." Steve muttered and I raised an eyebrow confused by this sudden Sander hate.

"Why not?"

"Yeah well I just don't think he's right for you. You don't even want to go all the way with him." Steve argued back which stung slightly. I sighed spinning the ring again unsure if I should keep wearing it or not.

"Yeah you're right. We got in a bit of a fight last night about it he was trying-"

"He didn't force you to do anything right?"

"No, no of course not." I glanced out the window staring at the parking lot outside wondering if Sander had even seen the news. He's my boyfriend, I know we aren't on great terms but you'd think he'd call to see if I was okay. "I don't know what's wrong with me. It must've been nice to know Evie was the one."

He shook his head with a breathy laugh drawing my attention back to him. "Evie ain't the one."

"Wait what I thought-"

"We broke up last night." He said flatly.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

He shrugged seemingly unbothered, "You had your own problems last night I didn't want to get in the way. Besides I'm not upset about it."

"Why what happened?"

"She was sleeping with some other guy I guess. Whatever I don't even think I love her."

"You don't?"

"I thought I did sunny." He said softly, "But I kept trying to imagine a future with her and I couldn't. She just wasn't there. I don't know. I guess it's good this happened. I'm kind of interested in someone else."

"Well I'm sure whoever it is will be all over you. Girls are always after you." I said with a confident smile. Steve was a good looking kid, I knew girls that eyed him all the time. "Girls love you."

"Not like all the guys love you. Even the socials are after you." He smirked.

I flipped some hair over my shoulder. "I can't help that I'm cute."

"Yeah alright alright let's get breakfast." He laughed as the waitress came over. I could see her eyes glisten as she talked to Steve and it made me a little mad. Not because I like him or anything but he was _my_ best friend and I aside from what ever girl he was with at whatever time was the only girl in his life. I let it go realizing he was single now and could do whatever he pleased and that he'd make time for me anyways.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. We went to work not long after breakfast and my mind was preoccupied on my younger brother. It was strange how me and Steve couldn't get bored of each other. We saw each other almost everyday and when we were in school together we had all the same classes. There was just something there that always kept me entertained, it was surprising after all these years.

He dropped me off at home that night and part of me expected to see Ponyboy when I came in, sitting on the couch reading. That this whole fiasco was just some sort of sick joke. But I was only greeted by Two-Bit.

"Darry home?" I asked wearily. I loved Two. But I really wish I was by myself tonight. Especially when I saw his glassy eyes and I just knew he was drunk. Probably stumbled himself back here.

"Yeah he went straight to his room."

"So I'm guessing he heard the news then." I sighed throwing myself down into one of our chairs and rubbing my aching temples. The headache from earlier didn't really subside with the day and instead grew to a nearly unbearable migraine at this point.

"Everyone's heard the news kiddo. That's all anyone is talking about." Two-Bit told me watching the TV with a beer in his hand. Part of me wanted to grab it and dump it down the drain but who am I to govern what my friends are doing.

"Thanks for the reassurance Two makes me feel good." I said sarcastically looking back up at him and resting my chin in the palms of my hands.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean-"

"No don't worry about it." I brushed him off to tired to even argue with him. "The whole thing is just getting to me ya know? First we lose our parents and now it's Ponyboy? Life just ain't fair."

"Sure ain't." Two-Bit shook his head even though I wondered if Two ever even had a taste of how unfair life was. Sure his daddy wasn't around but his daddy wasn't _ever_ around. I don't think you can miss someone you haven't met. "Pony is gonna turn up you'll see."

"And then what will happen? A boy is dead."

"You know your brother and Johnny wouldn't just kill someone."

"But were _greasers."_ Two-Bit was surprisingly silenced by this statement. I stood up tired of the Ponyboy will show up answer. I wish someone had something more constructive to say to me. "Anyhow I'm gonna get to bed. You staying?"

He nodded as I walked away not really caring either way. I stumbled into the bathroom and took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. Running down the hall to my room in a towel and closing the door behind me, I changed into my pajamas and got into bed. I shivered slightly and pulled my quilt tighter around me. It wasn't quite noticeable when Steve was here but now the coldness and empty space besides me was evident. I was so used to sleeping besides my younger brother these past few months.

I couldn't stop the tears from spilling down my face. My heart was broken. My baby brother was out in the world with just Johnny by his side instead of next to me. He could be hurt or cold or scared or hungry. He could be _dead_. I swallowed hard turning over to sob into my pillow so no one would wake up.

I don't know when I fell asleep I just know it was late, I had cried until my throat felt raw and my stomach was in the tightest of knots. And when I was awoken the next morning by Darry my head ached and my face felt swollen.

"Go away Darry." I moaned into my pillow turning away from him. My pillow was still damp.

"Get up Sunny I'm not playing." He yelled pulling the blanket off of me. A shock of pain went through my head and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Fine I'm up." I told him pushing myself up. I looked over to him, he looked tired, not to say he didn't always look that way but he looked worse than normal. He glanced at me.

"We're you crying?" He asked his voice softer. As much of a crybaby I was, I tried to keep it more secretive. I wasn't a fan of people worrying about my problems, I was supposed to be happy-go-lucky.

"Uh last night. I miss him." I told him truthfully. He nodded slightly before leaving the room which I was thankful for, I would prefer not to be questioned any further. I walked down the hall and into the bathroom. My cheeks were puffy and red and so were my eyes. I looked like crap. I washed my face and teeth though the cool water did nothing for the swollen mess that was my face. I walked out into the living room to find Steve who probably should be at school and Two-Bit. They were watching TV, beers already opened and cigarettes already lit. "Hey guys."

"Hey Sunny- oh you look like shit." Steve said as he looked over, his cigarette just hanging off his lip. I rolled my eyes taking a seat on the arm of the chair he was sitting in.

"Thank you I appreciate it again." I said bowing my head still attempting to rub my headache away. "Aren't you supposed to be at school? This gangs only big enough for one drop out."

"I didn't feel like going my dad kicked me out this morning." Steve shrugged, I couldn't argue that. Steve's dad could give two shits less about him. "Two here said he'd hang out with me for the day."

"And what about me?" I asked. 'And Two should be at school too."

"Thought you had work?" Two-bit asked ignoring the school part. I shook my head. "What's Dar waking you up for then?"

"You guys know how much I hate Mondays I never work them no more. And Darry likes to keep us on a schedule, wakes me up every morning doesn't matter where I have to go." I sighed with a smile. "So what are the plans?"


	4. Hold Back The River

_Hey Y'all sorry it's been almost a week, I moved down south and turned twenty so._

Two-Bit and Steve decided to go down to the river on the outskirts of town. I hadn't been there in awhile now since the DX was extra busy in the summer. We used to come down here when we were kids to swim and as we got older to make a bit of a ruckus. I couldn't do that much now either with the threat of a girls home over my head.

I followed them wearily, uninterested in the whole event. But I figured it would be better than me moping by myself in the house.

"You okay?" Steve asked me as Two-Bit jumped out immediately. No I wasn't okay, but I wasn't going to unload that on my best friend. We'd been through a lot together, he'd been by my side the days after my parents died and I just cried in my room for hours. But even then Steve wasn't too good with emotions, or he was when he needed to be, but it made him a little uncomfortable. He wasn't used to girls crying. I looked over him and forced a believable smile to my face even though he could probably see through it.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you were crying." Steve said without a second thought. I was hoping they were too dense to notice the swollen eyes this morning. I didn't know what to say back to that, getting a sudden interest in my hands.

"How long are you two love birds gonna keep me waiting?" Two shouted knocking on the window making me jump. He had great timing for me at least. I shook my head with a smile and hopped out of the car. I could hear Steve follow behind me and I silently prayed he wouldn't ask me again later on.

"Why are we here again?" I asked throwing a stone across the water and watching it skip. My dad taught me how to do that. I moved to sit on a bigger rock on the waters edge, pulling my flannel around me.

"We're reminiscing!" Two-Bit sang slinging his arm around my shoulder and rocking me back and forth slightly. "We were gonna pick up chicks down at the dingo especially now Stevie boy is single but with you with us it seemed a little outta place."

I put my hands up, "Oh please don't let me hold you back from getting girls." I pointed to Steve's truck, "Please, be my guest."

"Don't be like that Sunny, we're here ain't we?" Two-Bit questioned me with a laugh.

"Sorry it's such a chore." I grumbled crossing my arms over my chest.

"That's not what I mean." Two corrected himself but I didn't look up at him. He shook my knee to get my attention, "Hey seriously you know you're always gonna be our number one girl, ain't that right Steve?"

"Sure." Steve agreed skipping a stone across the river, I taught him two summers previous. Steve's mama died before I ever knew him, but I knew he was always looking for a maternal figure. My mama cut it until she died and now he's kind of stumbling around, gripping on to me at times. Two-Bits Mom worked all the time just to afford him and his little sister, which none of us had ever met. I was the only positive woman figure in pretty much all my boys lives after mama passed. God I missed her. I could feel my eyes sting but I swallowed hard and willed the tears away, if I said Steve wasn't good with tears you should see Two-Bit.

We sat there as the sun moved across the sky, talking and laughing about everything and nothing. My mind was finally distracted for a few hours in the past three days and I couldn't thank the two boys more.

"Hey you think you could drop me off at Buck's?" Two asked as we slid back into the truck. As the sun descended the sky it was starting to get much too cold for us to be out there. It made me think of Pony more.

"Actually I need to stop by there too, I left my jacket there last week." I added. Steve nodded to us, taking the turn to drive us in the direction of Buck's.

"Actually I have to grab something, I left a jacket there last week." I added in. Steve nodded and drove us down the road. As we pulled up Two basically jumped from the truck, shouting something that I think was a goodbye. I wasn't a fan of Buck's, real JD's hung around here and they weren't as polite as my boys. I've had to punch a few noses when they get too grabby. Sander liked coming here though, so I'd tag along with him. I started to get out when I noticed Steve was following me.

"You don't have to come with me." I brushed him off as I climbed down and walked towards the stairs.

"There's a lot of creeps in there Sunny." He told me continuing to follow me inside. I looked over my shoulder at him as I brushed by the people inside.

"Believe it or not I can hold my own."

"I know you can."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head turning back around and leading the way towards the bedrooms. "I know I left it in one of these rooms so it wouldn't get lifted." I mumbled peaking my head into the bedrooms and glancing them over. My attention was drawn in the third room, a white haired boy was leaning against a dresser, smoking. "Dally, haven't seen you since Friday."

"Hey kid," Dally nodded towards me and looked to Steve, "Kid's follower."

"I'm not-"

"Did you hear about Pony?" I asked cutting Steve off. I knew Dally liked to press Steve's buttons because it was so easy. Steve could be such a hot head.

"Who hasn't sweet cheeks?" He asked putting the cigarette out in an ash tray by the window. I could hear Steve move forward with the nickname but I stepped in front of him. I felt stupid for asking, of course Dally knew. What crime didn't he know about in Tulsa? He was committing half of it.

"Oh yeah, I'm just real worried and-" I started to ramble aimlessly before my eyes locked on an article of clothing hanging in the slightly propped open armoire. I walked towards it with furrowed brows.

"I wouldn't look in there." Dally warned but I ignored him, opening the door completely.

"What is this doing here?" I asked quietly reaching out to feel Pony's jacket. He couldn't be warm with his jacket hanging at Buck Merrill's.

"He probably just left it here one night." Dally shrugged. I ran the fabric between my fingers quietly, I could feel tears rising. I turned on him angrily.

"You know damn well Pony never steps foot in this shithole." I growled pointing my finger into his bony chest. He grabbed my hand pushing it away from him.

"I don't know why it's here!" Dally yelled defensively, again I could hear Steve move behind me but I put my hand out signaling him to stop. Dally smirked, "She's got you whipped doesn't she?"

"You're talking to me Dallas Winston." I said firmly drawing his Icy eyes back to me. Dallas knew he was bigger and stronger than me but he didn't mess with me. "You know where they are don't you?"

He raised his eyebrows moving away from me, "Why the hell would I know where they are?"

I pointed back to the armoire, "That's his jacket Dally, I'm not stupid! Where is he?"

"Maybe someone lifted it and stuck it in there?" Dally suggested with a shrug, lighting another cigarette.

" _He's 14."_ I reminded him angrily, "None of these assholes would fit into Pony's jacket! Now where is he!"

I had moved so close He was pressed up against a wall. "I don't know."

Dallas Winston was officially on the top of my most hated list. But I knew him well, he wasn't a snitch.

"Would you give him a letter if I wrote one out?" I asked backing off and moving to the desk in the room. Opening the top drawer I moved around the gun and few drugs and grabbed a pad of paper and a pencil.

"I don't know why you'd waste your time I don't know where he is." Dallas replied from across the room. Since I was no longer a barrier Steve moved forward.

"Why don't you just tell her where the fuck her brother is?" Steve demanded getting in Dally's face. I turned to look at them briefly to judge the situation. Steve was a good four inches taller than Dally but Dally was a dirty fighter we all knew it.

"Because _big guy,"_ Dallas growled pushing Steve back, "I don't know where the _fuck_ Pony is. What about Johnny?"

"We want Johnny back too!" Steve yelled at him.

"Yeah sure seems like it." Dally returned. I finished my note, moving in between them even though they were still glaring above my head.

"Listen, we hope they're both safe." I said softly, "Just make sure it stays that way."

"How am I supposed to do that?" Dally continued but I just shook it off. His lie was too obvious to me at this point.

"Can you give this to Pony?" I asked shoving the note into Dallas's hand before he could protest. "Please."

He sighed looking away before shoving the note into his jacket pocket. "I don't know why you think I know where he is..."

"Thanks Dally, you dig." I said softly with a smile before grabbing Pony's jacket off the hanger and grabbing Steve's wrist who was still glaring at Dally. I lead him towards the door, "C'mon let's go."

"I can't stand that kid." Steve muttered as we walked back outside.

"You let him push your buttons." I told him, a sudden realization dawned on me. I shoved the jacket into Steve's arms. "Didn't grab my own jacket, I'll be right back. Stay out here and chill out I really don't need you guys to fight."

I ran back up the stairs and into the building, walking down the hallways to the bedroom. Dally looked up as I walked in and sighed.

"Drop your boyfriend off?" He asked watching as I looked around the room. I lifted and eyebrow and turned to him with the words.

"Steve isn't my boyfriend. I don't know what you're talking about." I told him beginning to look around again, walking towards the armoire.

"You got him so whipped," Dally laughed, "He'd jump off a bridge if you asked him to."

"I don't have him _whipped."_ I replied locating the black leather jacket also hanging up. I grabbed it and turned around, "Friends do stuff for each other all the time, Why is it different with me and Steve?"

"You don't know what I'm talking about?" Dallas asked like I was stupid, his icy eyes wide. He laughed slightly, "You don't know Steve-o is obsessed with you? You must have one thick skull."

"Look as someone who won't even tell me where my baby brother is I think you hardly have a stance to harass me." I answered him simply. He didn't have a clue what he was talking about. When had Dallas Winston even care about a girl enough to visibly see when another guy actually cared about one?

He shrugged taking a long drag of his cigarette, "I'm just saying the boy is in love. You'll see it sooner or later."

"Whatever." I muttered walking out without a second thought. I walked back outside to see Steve leaned up by the door, a cigarette in his shaking hand. He looked over to me like he always did, if he loved me shouldn't he be staring at me some special way? "Smokin ain't good for you."

"Whatever Sunny." Steve brushed me off and I laughed. "He got on my nerves."

"What else is Dallas Winston good for?" I asked.

"You're right." He nodded leading the way towards his truck. "Am I bringing you home?"

"Yeah I have work tomorrow morning," I told him climbing in the passengers side. He threw his cigarette down and stamped on it before getting in the driver's side.

"Have you heard from Sander?" Steve asked as we drove down the road. I hadn't given much thought to my boy friend in the past three days to be honest.

"No, I haven't." I shrugged, "I got more important things on my mind."

"Yeah well I'm sure he's heard what's going on." Steve continued, "I mean you'd think he might say something?"

"Yeah, I don't know." I responded looking out the window. "Maybe he's busy or- oh shit."

There was a police car sitting out in front of the house. I opened the door and jumped out while Steve was still driving.

"Sunny you can't do that!" He yelled after me but I zipped on inside. Darry was sat in the living room with two cops standing about. I looked around expectantly for my baby brother but when I met Darry's eyes he shook his head. My heart sunk into my stomach.

"Ms. Curtis." One of the police officers greeted me, coming to shake my hand. I just stared at it and he retracted it. "We're here to ask about your brother."

"Sunny!" Steve exclaimed running inside and stopping abruptly behind me taking in the scene of our living room.

"Sir, only family." The cop said looking to him. I grabbed Steve's arm and pulled him to my side, glaring at the cop.

"He _is_ family." I said firmly. The cop sighed and motioned for us to come into the room. Me and Steve headed for the armchair, me sitting on the arm as usual.

"Can I have your full name?" The cop asked me pulling out a pen and paper.

"Sunshine Lauren Curtis." I answered him and he stopped writing and looked up at me.

"We need real names ma'am." The cop sighed seemingly bored with me.

"My real name is Sunshine." I snapped, not meaning to but frustrated there were even cops here and Ponyboy wasn't. Darry gave me a warning glance and I took a breath, "Why are you even questioning it when my brothers name is _Ponyboy."_

"And you?" The cop asked moving to Steve ignoring my attitude which only made me angrier.

"Uh Steven James Randle." Steve muttered, he'd been uncomfortable around cops for awhile now. We'd been arrested last summer for walking on our hands down a road and disturbing the peace as they said. But Steve also had to deal with the cops numerous times on account of his Dad.

They questioned us up and down about Pony's behaviors and the trouble he got into. That was the problem we told them, Ponyboy never got into trouble. He was a good kid and we couldn't understand what was happening. The cops seemingly got more frustrated with us that we weren't flat out telling them our brother was a cold blooded murderer.

I was exhausted by the time they left, Darry went off to his own room while I sat in the living room with Steve. He was absentmindedly drawing circles on my back with his finger and I was just sitting unsure of what to think.

"I think you should go soon." I told him wearily, turning to look at him. "Sorry about this."

"What are you sorry for?" He asked standing up.

I shrugged, "I just am."

I didn't have much else to say to him as I led him out, giving him my see you laters and watching as he walked to his truck. As soon as I shut the door I was crying. I was so overwhelmed by this entire ordeal I just wanted it all to be over. Everything inside me hurt. It hurt that Pony wasn't here, it hurt that Dallas knew instead of me where he was, it hurt my parents weren't here to console me.

I stumbled down the hallway in my exhaustion. I stood in the shower for what seemed ages that night, just leaning my head against the wall. When I got out and brushed my teeth and pulled on my pajamas. When I looked at my empty bed I realized I couldn't bear the thought of laying by myself another night. I walked back out, fully prepared to sleep on the couch until I noticed Darry's door was slightly cracked open. He was sprawled out on the bed asleep, a tight expression on his face.

"Darry?" I asked from the doorway, my voice was small and scratchy and just not my own. His blue eyes opened and he glanced over at me with heavy eyes, I felt bad for waking him up. "Are you sleeping?"

"Not anymore." He groaned and I flinched slightly unsure if I should even keep standing there.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked softly preparing myself for a no, I knew Darry wasn't one to baby us like I did to Pony, "Ponyboy isn't here and I-"

"Sure." He said softly pushing over so he wasn't in the middle of the bed anymore. I smiled walking into the room and getting into the bed. It smelt of aftershave from all the times Darry had fallen into bed without showering. "Goodnight Sunshine."

"Goodnight."

I slept a little more soundly than I did the previous nights but I still didn't welcome the morning knowing Ponyboy wasn't a room over. Darry woke me up with his alarm clock and when he got out of bed I did too. The sleep hardly did anything for me, I still felt exhausted. I followed Darry to the kitchen.

"You need a ride to the DX?" He asked as he packed his lunch. I shook my head. "It's cold out Sunny. You'll get sick."

"I got my coat back and besides it helps clear my head." I offered as I reached into the fridge to salvage something to eat. We hadn't been grocery shopping in the last few days and were running low on rations. I wasn't really that hungry anyways. I added in, "If I think it's too cold I'll call Steve for a lift."

"Alright I'll see you tonight?" He asked as he closed his lunch box. I gave him a short nod. He hesitated slightly before leaving the room, I yelled after him.

"Yeah might be late though don't wait up I'll get a ride." I picked eggs out of the carton and turned to make them In the skillet. We were all out of grape jelly so I'd have to eat them plain. I had told him the Steve thing to make him feel better, Steve was probably at school already and maybe Two was too but that was a reach. I finished my eggs and did the dishes before eating them in silence. I didn't like it when it was quiet here, it hardly ever was. The last time it had been was when we got back from Mom and Dad's funeral. I could still remember it like it was yesterday.

I swallowed back my tears and rubbed at my eyes furiously. I wasn't going to cry before work. I hit the table angrily, I wished I could just keep it together. I wish my life would just keep it together. I sighed, putting my plate in the sink and walking to my room to get dressed into my uniform. Mine and Pony's jacket were laying on my floor, I decided to grab Pony's.

It was only denim and wasn't that warm but it smelt like him and that was enough for me. I pulled it around me tightly as I walked out into the cool morning.


End file.
